i re-realise i am uncomfortable reading my old posts...
its weird man - doesnt feel like its me saying it.
too whiny, too vulnerable

Now - what do i want to do with this life ive
been given?
recap agn -

things i desire - Air game, anime, new PC

hobbies interests - cooking, mebe airgun?
mebe play guitar, piano, violin?

needs- shoes

responsibilities- insurance, savings, health protection

shoulds - class 3 license

Is there anyth i want to pursue? To become? besides
targets of financial stability by early 30s etc - isnt
there someth i should want to Become?
nanika naritai?
does it hv to be occupational?

jobs considering - ATC? copywriting, cook
should i stay on? gng to indon for a year souns interesting
enuff to do - but purchasing? hmm am i ready? y did
andrew say I am good? is it just kind words?
is my heart alredy not herer?

is looking at personal interest e.g. anime comics musuems
an unwise choice to align wif career prospects?
if i stay on here - a year overseas... or more
tt would defn clock up definable experience...
but would it be unwise?

wt does God want me to do - i am merely seeking tt
as a genie or magic 8 ball option - i thot abt it abit
and no i dont think im willing to give up my life
no... its not a sincere searching

so how - i wan to quit n buy JB anime n nua at home
no money tho - 26 yrs comign and no nothing i spose
wtf to do wif this life

benefit society? yes i thot leave the money-making to
other sporeans - i want to beenfit society and my
family. How - i believe there are many ways to live
to survice to make enuff money to live
but i guess i dont know the ways

im tired n dun feel like writing anymore